Fences and Boundaries

Nothing at my house has happened on time.  When I bought the place, my friend Mark helpfully stated, “It will always take twice as long and cost three times as much.”  Because Mark is a dick sometimes, I let it slide.

But he’s right.

So imagine my shock when the fence company called to say they could start two weeks early.  I immediately said yes.  And after the crew had shown up and was busily drilling fence posts, I recalled a chore I hadn’t gotten around to doing: removing a tree from the fence line.

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Let me start by saying I’m so glad I hired a crew for the fence.  They brought all the right tools, three guys, lots of cement, and proceeded to tear through the work in impressive time.  They got all the posts in the ground in less than a day.

But at five o’clock and the end of my work day, I had to take that tree down.  I wrote last time about being a butthead.  You’d think I would learn my lesson.  But no, buttheads don’t learn their lesson.  They go buy a bow saw instead.

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In the light of day this scene looks pretty good.  But upon closer inspection you realize that the one tree going diagonal sort of messes up my plans at a fence.  That’s my target.  I had to cut down the diagonal tree without crushing my house, that of my neighbor, her car, or knocking over a fence post.  It’s a skinny tree, but it’s 35 or 40 feet tall, so of course I’m the idiot who decides to do it with a $10 saw.

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And there it is.  No neighbors were maimed.

I think I’m going to buy a chainsaw next time.  Better yet, just give someone with a chainsaw (and insurance) money to do it for me while I drink beer and feel not-exhausted.

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